There’s No Secret To How Love Works, We Just Put In The Work
Tyler and I met in the 6th grade after I introduced myself. Yes, you heard that right. I made the […]
Cate Staff
Tyler and I met in the 6th grade after I introduced myself. Yes, you heard that right. I made the first move. Although he gave me a huge attitude and was so rude to me, I still couldn’t help but find him attractive. And, I think we all can relate to liking someone more when it’s not reciprocated right away. Lol.
Anyways, fast forward to 7th grade when we had music class together. He started flirting with me more but, unlucky for him, I had a boyfriend so I didn’t let it get serious. A few weeks later, Tyler came to my birthday party and we really hit it off. I vividly remember him calling my house phone before it and told me to ask my mom if he could spend the night. And, to be honest I have no idea what her response would’ve been because I lied to him and said that when I asked my mom she said no. Haha, I was nervous okay.
My boyfriend at the time and I eventually broke up and I’m sure you can guess what became after that. One day at recess our group of friend was hanging out and Tyler walked up to me and just grabbed my hand. And to be honest, the rest is history.
It’s one of my favorite moments to re-live. And to think that only a few years later we would find ourselves in an unplanned pregnancy, choose adoption, and go through some of the hardest things ever. It’s heartwarming to think back on it all and see us today with three beautiful girls and support for each other that measures beyond the moon.
It Takes More Than Just Loving One Another
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While love is necessary in a relationship, it needs to be proved with hard work. Couples must nurture their relationship to keep it healthy and growing. With that come learning curves, disagreements, creating balance and much more. But, that’s what gets you to the good parts and keeps them coming.
For Tyler and I, communication was rough in the beginning. We had to learn from the ground up how to express our feelings, concerns and emotions in a productive way.
With both of us coming from broken homes, we weren’t taught what a healthy relationship sounded like or looked like.
It’s important to feel safe and secure enough in your relationship to be vulnerable. To me, that’s trust. And, if that’s broken and you can’t be vulnerable with your partner then it’s like there’s just some giant translucent wall up between you.
Growing up together at such a young age gave us the chance to either grow apart or grow together. We decided that wanted to grow together so we put the work in to do so. As a couple we went to therapy. We also had individual therapy sessions to set healthy boundaries and have our separate selves still. This helped us work on our relationship through healthy habits and conversation that we didn’t learn on our own as kids.
Best Friends, Lovers, And Biggest Supporters
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We truly are each others best friend, lover and biggest supporter. And, that’s what love and marriage should be. No body loves you the way that your person does. For us, it comes to natural. Being with someone who you don’t feel like you have “try” to love makes it so much easier to create an honest, vulnerable and fun relationship.
My Advice To You
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If you’re a couple going through a tough time, don’t stress over it. If you see yourself being with that person forever then put the work in! In no way is it easy and it takes time and commitment but, what you get out of it is so rewarding. If the love is there, it will always be there, sometimes it’s just a plant that needs extra watering on some days.
Tyler and I are huge therapy believers. It’s one of those things that works, if you work too.
If you’re a couple who’s happy and in love, continue making time for another and showing your love for them, even with the most simple gestures. Be authentic company for each other. Talk without technology! Keep doing adventurous things together and always say ‘I love you.’